And why it’s often more worth it than not.
Note: I categorized all my points regarding glow-ups, and what I found from both others and in my personal life can create glow-ups since this post will be lengthy. Only some things will go in-depth, as there will be future posts to cover the latter information better.
Introduction
That girl in the romantic comedy seems to draw the attention of every guy and make them fall head over heels for her, yet she’s so down to Earth and the farthest thing from high maintenance. And maybe the coworker you see that’s so stress-free at a job that’s killing you, and on top of that, she looks perfect; no way she has the time to get dolled up every day, and you’d know since you share the same schedule.
Going back to the girl in the romantic comedy, maybe the plot of the story was that she had a “massive glow-up” instead, she got her unruly hair straightened, glasses and braces taken off, and those baggy clothes she was wearing, they’re gone, replaced by something a lot more fitting. That’s all that’s needed for her to now identity as hot for the rest of the movie and her life; it’s that easy!! And speaking of your coworker, you asked her for her secret, and she told you that she does pilates and meditates three times a week. The rest? There’s no secret about it; likely the same process you apply to yourself, light makeup, and whatnot. Great, she’s a natural beauty and, from what you can tell, better at life, too, of which you can’t seem to crack the code. How does it come instantly to the folks who got it? Is it either something you have, or you don’t? And even if you put in the effort, will it be enough? Is it worth it?
Effortless Beauty and the opposite
Effortless and natural beauty are seen as an innate quality that one is born with. It is praised and idealized. These qualities are often tied to people with an equally strong charm, meaning that others gravitate toward those who have these qualities more than those who don’t. The personal style is also consistent, with nothing clashing or seeming untidy. It is deemed perfection by societal standards because it isn’t real, at least in the image it wants to present.
On the negative side, there’s everything that effortless beauty doesn’t represent. Things such as trying too hard (and it being evident with cosmetic procedures, tons of makeup, etc.) or simply being unattractive and appearing not to try at all. It doesn’t generate net positive results like effortless beauty and instead gets the opposite directed toward it. Some people are familiar with being at the “bottom” and forever lifting their heads up to see what could be. It’s often more realistic than being at the absolute “top” since it doesn’t exist and is a fabrication of reality, as there will always be better.
What are Glowups as Known by Most People?
I first heard of the term ‘Glow-up’ on the internet. Namely, social media in which people would post their before, an often normal-looking kid, and after, someone older who lost the baby weight and learned to take care of themselves. Sometimes the glow-ups would seem more drastic due to excess weight, skin with acne, clothing with no shape, and lousy grooming or hygiene practices which would be resolved in the afterimage.
Undoubtedly, the people who posted their before and after appeared confident and happy with their choices, at least from what I saw. Not to mention the discipline and work it took a lot of them to lose weight and find solutions for what they wished to resolve. However, it’s essential to know that many small steps were taken between the two photos taken for them to get to that point. It seems more drastic and, at times, alarming to the viewer as they weren’t there to follow the person on their journey up until that point.
Celebrity glow-ups are also, at times, featured. These glow-ups shouldn’t be looked to as naturally achievable as hardcore methods such as plastic surgery or other cosmetic procedures are often utilized. Methods that many younger viewers don’t consider and instead use as a measure to compare their progress.
Superficiality and How “Glowups” can go Deeper Than That
Oftentimes, appearances come to mind when thinking of the term glow-up. It’s only expected as the first thing that pops up when you search the term is people transforming from average looking to above it. Largely a result of physical transformations being more apparent than mental ones, but also because they’re more glorified and liked as a result of them being pleasing to look at and aspirational for insecure and ego-driven teenagers (which are abundant on social media platforms. However superficial, the presentation of glow-ups on mainstream platforms doesn’t take away the nuances of it; it only makes them more likely to be ignored. The same can be said for many popular topics; the main points get misconstrued and damaged due to exposure to a broader audience who isn’t as informed or interested.
Appearances are mediums for emotional states. Someone who is depressed isn’t going to go through the same amount of effort to attain proper hygiene or get appealingly dressed as another who is satisfied with their mental state. The same can be applied to less severe mental states, such as laziness or excess stress caused by circumstances such as finals. Of course, as with anything, there are exceptions.
Aside from physicality, true glow-ups establish the importance of mental and behavioral attributes. While appearances might make life easier in the short term, the patterns established with the other two allow life to be lived to its greatest potential. In a way, the two latter pronounce and lengthen the former, especially if one wasn’t initially equipped with natural beauty. The patterns that lead to beauty, such as taking care of oneself, are better done with habits built on repetition and a healthy mind. Even body image is a part of this equation; wanting a healthy and robust body, even with plans for an ideal weight or look, isn’t bad as long as it’s within a realistic range. Studies show that obesity and depression are heavily correlated; a part of this reason is body image and self-esteem issues, along with health.
Natural Beauty and Unfairness
There is no denying that naturally pretty people exist facially and body proportion-wise, at least according to essential health, symmetry, and cultural perceptions. However, to put someone with knowledge or technique of beautification or style who applies it to themselves and someone with no concern for that on the same level lookswise (in accordance to the beauty standards present in their society), even with them both being similar in predisposed genetic attractiveness, would be absurd. The former would have countless pieces of knowledge they accumulated on how to look greatly presentable yet “hot” and know when to do upkeep on their appearances with skincare routines, haircuts, wardrobe changes, etc. Thus the more attractive individual in that equation would have earned it in their own right when comparing them to the other. In addition to short-term splurges that brought the first person immediate benefits such as clothing, makeup, and haircare, they took the time to learn.
There are certainly outliers where certain people are blessed and have won the genetic lottery, which can seem unfair; however, the person who occupies those advantages shouldn’t be at fault. It may not be realistic to aspire to, on a societal level, a level in which you and a person regarded by 99% of people they come across as attractive, more so if you appear plain next to that insanely good-looking individual. It’s essential to know the limits of what we can reach, even if it varies a bit due to subjectivity, as long as that subjectivity doesn’t go into delusion.
This is why it’s also not truthful to sprout lies such as money being the sole factor in transforming a plain jane or below-average woman into a gorgeous bombshell; if you ever came across celebrity before and after images, you’re probably familiar with that line of reasoning. Oftentimes, some celebrities already have a good base to start with if they were to reach that rare attractiveness that so few people possess, both naturally and artificially; a lot of these individuals also had lousy style, excess weight, or hygiene issues that prevented them from being what they are now.
However, it’s not all doom and gloom just because you can’t possess a level of attractiveness that so few individuals have, statistically, at least based on what the majority consider to be, as improvements can always be made. A person who is, again, a plain jane can become pretty with good grooming habits, fitted clothing, clear skin, and a healthy weight, especially when you consider that most people don’t possess these things; the ones who do will surely stand out in that crowd. It’s always better to put effort into a better position than before, even if it’s not the best of the best, as it’s undoubtedly above what was, and you’d be someone who decided to take that step, unlike the many people who maybe never will.
The Myth and Appeal of No Effort, and Why Effort isn’t so Bad
Imagine you were to wake up every day, nothing ever being a real challenge or struggle, not how it’s like for your friends, neighbors, family, or everyday people you come across. You swift through life effortlessly, receive everything you would ever want with that charm of yours and your irresistibly good looks. If you ever care to learn a subject, you engulf it in one go with your giant brain. Let’s not forget you’re also insanely rich and famous, so nothing much is off-limits for you.
Seems like the dream, right? To be able to swift life through and maybe also isolate yourself in terms of relatability to people, even spark envy from them, but who cares, you’re much much much better than they are. Until you realize that you’re an anomaly because unless you’re a poorly written mary sue character, it’s not possible; everyone suffers at some point, fails, and then learns to overcome it. In fact, with some thought given to it, it sounds like a curse rather than a dream come true, so why do people want to believe the false narrative of perfection?
An individual you put on a pedestal just by existing doesn’t owe you an automatic explanation or for them to kick their selves down a notch just because of what appears to be someone’s bruised ego. This should be self-explanatory; people are free to portray whatever image they want, whether an overly polished or cultured version of themselves or one that’s a bit too flattering for who they are; it’s only natural as often people like to demonstrate their best and not showcase their vulnerabilities readily. That said, given that most people don’t think a lot about everything they come across as that would be mentally exhausting on a daily basis, it would be easier to assume that the person they’re seeing was always like that.
These thoughts also can place the idealized person on a pedestal. You can see this with ‘gurus’ on the internet who amass large followings preaching how their viewers, too, could easily attain a great life. While it may not be forced upon you by individuals you see who, in your opinion, live a glamorized life, you still internalize it and view that individual as above you automatically. It’s as if they’re no longer human and instead are a template or an enviable object, causing their past faults or failures to be erased in that current time frame. That easily distorts your perception of them and causes you to view them as having also made it in life or possessing an effortless charm.
Seeing them struggle to achieve what they have achieved would cause you to scrutinize your actions and behaviors more, which isn’t pleasant. To see them reach a level above you instead of merely observing them at it would demonstrate to you that it is possible and that it’s your fault you’re where you are; you could improve to at least some extent beyond where you are, but you choose not to. That’s a harsh reality.
Once someone does decide to put in the effort, they can have a wrongful learning curve attributed to it. Meaning that time put in doesn’t mean automatic success or competence and equates to no struggles or failures. If it isn’t grasped easily or stagnancy is encountered, it may be attributed to not being for them. If they gather critique on it from others, they may assume that they have never had it and it isn’t the correct path for them. No matter if someone is a natural at something, an effort still has to be put in semi-regularly, or you get stuck and, if in an ever-improving field, fall behind.
A lot of the time, if you see someone who has been doing a skill since a child, you may falsely assume that they’ve always been a natural at it, and the person who’s been doing that skill as a child may also as well believe that they’ve got it when others don’t. However, while there may have been an inclination for them as a child to participate in that hobby, it’s almost never too late for anyone to join in. The only downside is that you’ll be more aware of the effort and comparisons faced than the people who started as children.
No matter if you start learning about the basics of appearance upkeep or long-dead languages such as Latin and Greek, you allow change to come in. Many adults become comfortable with the path their life is headed toward, and they’re hesitant to learn skills and do things that aren’t passive entertainment outside their school or work. I’ll talk more about this in the mindset section.
However, the point is that learning things that contribute to your growth, whether you may initially be good at them or not, push you outside of a bubble. They help expand your view of what can be. They also teach you the value of determination and wanting to do better because you want to and not because it may make sense if you’ve always been good at it or if it’s expected. It’s empowering. You’ll get to decide what you want your skills to develop, raising confidence once you see the payoff. Because for most things, let’s be honest, all it takes is an effort to see eventual growth. Even if you don’t get to superstar heights with what you aspired to do, it’s still a lot better than where you started, and now you know that you can easily apply diligence to other things you want to do. Habits get built, so the skills you want to improve become more manageable. And your knowledge also increases, making what you put effort toward more applicable to daily life. If you’re a lazier person, this can feel like a godsend. By deciding to take the initiative and sticking to it, you have one more thing to feel proud of.
Mindset and Allowing Yourself to Change
I’ll admit it; it is scary to make a change, as it can feel like you’re sacrificing who you are and what you have come to know about yourself. Instead, try to take it as an opportunity to expand upon who you are and what you can do.
Also, recognize, most importantly, that it doesn’t have to feel comfortable or normal! It’s okay if it doesn’t at first; it will once you get accustomed to the change you want. The key word is want. I’m pretty sure most people aren’t completely satisfied with their lives. And you’ll never be 100% happy with your life or even always satisfied. That’s what allows growth and change to enter gradually. What you don’t want to do is trick yourself into thinking that it’ll get better without doing anything. Or confuse yourself into thinking it’s automatically wrong because it’s uncomfortable or makes you unhappy initially.
It would help if you considered whether it’s genuinely what you want and can do it long-term. Change isn’t just about rebranding or reinventing yourself, that can help make it short-term, but it won’t be beneficial to make it a complete chapter in your book. The best change is, again, gradual; you take every chance to learn along the way and fully immerse yourself in it. It isn’t sudden; it’s slightly expected yet still a surprise. With time, you should look back on it and be glad. I emphasize the time and commitment it takes if you want to make it an integral part of your life. However, if you want to take it as a trial experience and see it as a suitable experience in a part of your life, don’t toss it aside once you’re through with it; see it for what it is; another step in helping create a more nuanced version of you.
That’s why it’s important to remember that as long as you’re alive, everything you do in your life will always progress, and nothing will ever be done. It’s not as disappointing or miserable as it sounds; it’s precisely what you should want, considering progress only stops into completion upon death. This means it’s okay if there are bumps down the road or if you hurdle backward because it’s progress. As long as there’s progress, it means you can continue to make changes and aren’t stuck to who you currently are, and neither is anyone around you. However, whether you want to go in the direction of a dreamt reality is different.
Also, given your life circumstances, it’s okay if you aren’t in a place to improve or make as many changes as you want. If you make a tiny choice towards the direction you want, no matter how small, it will always be better than nothing. Don’t let any of this demotivate or make you think of all that you’ve accomplished or done in life as nothing because the truth is that you’re not done. Don’t think you need to become the CEO of a 500 fortune company and have the looks and fashion sense of a European model to be worth something. All that is needed is to remember that you always have a choice and a will if needed.
A cent a day adds up to a dollar in a matter of time. Spend a dollar on a worthless knickknack that have you filled up with regret? Well time to start saving again.